this is a song of two lonely people
by aubbiiee
Summary: But then they meet eyes and he can actually hear her say, "Steve," and it's so real – but no, it can't possibly be real – but she's running toward him and all of a sudden she's in his arms and oh my God, it's Peggy and she's here in the twenty-first century, she's here, in the year 2012, and God, he's never letting her go. —– Steve/Peggy


**I know it's been done before but that's okay because I can deal with that. And sometimes what you really want to read is cliché overused lame stuff. And this falls under that category, I suppose.**

**I don't own any of it.**

_so close to reaching that famous happy end_

_almost believing this one's not pretend_

**[ so close ; jon mclaughlin ]**

Here's the deal:

This is a song of two lonely people. They were so close to reaching that storybook, fairytale ending. Lonely people who are both dead, in a way, and they manage to find each other in chaos. And that's okay. To them, there's something comforting in the chaos. Chaos is what brought them together.

: : :

He almost doesn't want to admit it – that's how pathetic it is.

But that's really how it all started. Not _all_, but this is past the whole frozen deal and the whole brainwashed S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and Loki and all of that. Past waking up in New York. In the year 2012.

He wasn't past the heartbreak.

It was kind of all too much for him, what with waking up seventy-odd years in the future and realizing that everyone that he knew and loved was either dead or almost dead.

Anyway, it was kind of useless, now that he thinks back on it – what's the point of going to a bar to drown your sorrows if you can't even get drunk?

Oh, but the good ol' Cap needed to learn how to live again.

: : :

He'd sat down, ordering the most potent stuff they'd got, not even caring what it actually was. Sometimes he liked to pretend that he was normal and could get drunk and have real friends and – no, he did have friends. He had Tony and Bruce and Thor and maybe Clint and Natasha on good days. Yes, he had the Avengers. Not that they did that much anymore – other than the terrible two, who were actual S.H.I.E.L.D. agents – except for lounge in Stark's living room and watch movies and eat, much less any avenging.

Yes, he had friends.

But he didn't have Bucky or Peggy – and let's face it, Tony just wasn't the same as his father.

He definitely didn't expect some spiky-haired British guy to plop down next to him.

Funny – this guy almost looked as sad and lost as broken as Steve was.

: : :

Somehow they end up talking and Steve wasn't quite sure why neither of them were drunk – well, he knew why _he _was drunk, but had no idea why the other guy wasn't.

"You've lost someone," Spike says to him.

He laughs, a bitter laugh that has no humor in it. "Yeah. That obvious?"

"No," Spike says. "But I know what it's like."

They sit in silence together.

"Her name was Peggy," he confesses all of a sudden. "Agent Margaret Carter. Peggy," he says her name wistfully – a sweet, familiar song in a world of all this _new_. "I was fighting in the war. Well, I was going to. I didn't meet the requirements but I was recruited anyway and I became a supersoldier. I suppose you've heard of Captain America?"

Spike's eyebrows raise – funny, this guy seemed to have eyebrows with minds of their own – and he nods.

"That's me," Steve continues. "And then I had to get rid of this missile and so I drove it straight into the water. I never did get that date," he says, somehow sad and angry and remorseful all at the same time. "And then I woke up seventy years later and – " He pauses. "Why am I telling you this? I don't even know your name."

"I'm the Doctor," Spike tells him.

"The Doctor," Steve repeats slowly. "Okay…" _Well, if I'm Captain America, who's to say he can't be the Doctor? At least he doesn't have a spangly suit._

"Question, Steve," Spi—_the Doctor _says, almost urgently. "Tell me, when did you get rid of that missile?"

"1943," he says, and oh, the year feels so familiar rolling off his tongue. 1941 is where he belongs. He was supposed to live his life with all of them, all of his friends.

And for a moment, he wishes that he didn't become Captain America—_no_. How could he ever regret becoming Captain America? Serving his country? Fighting beside his best friend? _Falling in love_?

"I need to go," he mutters. He needs to get back to Avengers Tower; he needs a shower – a very cold one. "See you around. Pleasure meeting you." And it kind of was a pleasure meeting him, kind of not.

He leaves, and as he walks out he hears Spikey muttering something about a rose and Gallifrey burning or something.

_Gallifrey – isn't that in Ireland?_

: : :

It's about two months later, and Steve's encounter with the Doctor never escapes his thoughts. It was strange – something told him to trust that guy. The funny thing? That Doctor guy was more what he was used to than what he was surrounded by every day.

This man, the Doctor – he'd been through a war. Steve could tell. He couldn't tell if he'd been a war hero, though. And it was beyond him to what war.

: : :

One day, he approaches Stark.

"I need to look someone up, and I need your help," he says, and Tony obliges, something telling him that old Capsicle won't take no for an answer.

: : :

"Margaret Carter," Steve reads out loud – although, could it really be considered out loud when it was actually rather quiet? – itching for more information on his past love. As he reads, his heart nearly stops.

_d. 1946_

Dead. He'd been hoping that maybe she'd still be alive, he thought maybe he could visit her in some old lady retirement home – hey, some people lived to their nineties! – but no. She was dead.

And no one even really knew how.

: : :

"I think my dad might have mentioned her, you know," Stark says, leaning against his doorframe.

Steve doesn't even know how long he's been sitting there on his bed, staring at the wall. But it seems that it's been a while.

"She went missing," he says, "that's what my dad told me. She went missing a year after the end of the war. No traces of her again. Assumed dead."

Steve stays silent.

: : :

He's having a particularly hard day and he's not quite sure what to do with himself. S.H.I.E.L.D. started sending them out on missions and now Romanoff is MIA and Barton's a wreck and Tony tries to lighten the mood with stupid jokes and Bruce is still Bruce and dear God, Thor is still Thor and sometimes Steve really just wants them all to shut up because God, can't they see that he's still mourning?

Needless to say, when the blue police box appears in his bedroom, he almost faints from exhaustion and just exasperation.

Spike is there.

"Hello, Steve!"

He's sure that his day cannot possibly get any stranger.

: : :

"Anywhere in time and space! Where do you want to go?"

Steve doesn't even have to think about it; his answer slips out of his mouth before he knows it. "1945. New York."

He pretends not to see the sadness and pity in the Doctor's eyes. But there's no denying that it's there.

: : :

He kind of hopes to see Peggy, kind of hopes he doesn't. But as he passes the window, walking by some hole-in-the-wall bar, he sees an all-too-familiar brunette with tear tracks and stained red lips.

For a moment, they make eye contact, but then she looks down, shaking her head, squeezing her eyes shut. He can make out what she's whispering to herself, watching her scarlet lips move in the same pattern over and over and over again.

_He's not there. You're just seeing things. He's not there. You're just seeing things. He's not there. You're just seeing things. He's not there. You're just seeing things. He's not there._

He asks the Doctor if he can leave as soon as he can, and, judging by the Doctor's expression, he knows – and he thinks that finally he's met someone who understands.

: : :

He's walking around New York City and he swears that she's right there. Everything from her curled chocolate hair to her eye and her cherry-red lips to her stance. Even the white blouse and charcoal grey skirt she wears are just so very _Peggy_, and he thinks that he's finally gone off the deep end. In fact, he's sure of it.

He shakes his head, wondering why he chose _now _to hallucinate, not earlier.

But then they meet eyes and he can actually hear her say, "Steve," and it's so real – but no, it can't possibly be real – but she's running toward him and all of a sudden she's in his arms and oh my God, it's _Peggy _and she's here in the twenty-first century, she's here, in the year 2012, and God, he's never letting her go.

The second she pulls away a tiny bit he kisses her, forgetting everything about modesty when it comes to PDA and who really cares about PDA when it's real, true love and for a moment he wonders, _Why did she stop kissing me?_ but then her fist collides with his nose and he feels a crack and now he's wondering how fast Banner will be able to heal that but then she's crying and he's crying and they hug and they kiss and _nothing else even matters anymore_.

: : :

Out of the corner of his eye, he thinks that he might see a blue police box disappearing, but it can't be – so he just enjoys the moment.

: : :

Somehow he manages to come to a compromise with Fury – well, does threatening to leave and never help S.H.I.E.L.D. again unless he lets Peggy join the Avengers Initiative and screws with her files a little bit count as compromise? – and Peggy is welcomed into their little dysfunctional Avengers family. Kind of. It's not like any of them trust her except for Steve and Thor and Tony – what? He listened to his dad _sometimes_.

: : :

Clint and Bruce still are unsure about Peggy because how on Earth does a woman from the 1940s wind up in 2012?

Peggy and Pepper seem to get along well enough, considering they were the only voices of reason in Avengers Tower.

: : :

She knows that she has to prove herself to the other Avengers because it can't go on like this forever – _and God, Margaret Carter cannot survive without authority and respect like she's used to_ – so for several weeks she works in the middle of the night, unknown by the others.

One Monday, she's gone, and Steve panics – but then he sees her note.

_Steve & Others—_

_I will be gone for a few days. Don't miss me too much. I will be fine. If you come after me at all, I will not hesitate to put a bullet through your brain. So don't._

_Also, I will be back on Sunday, which means that I will need a cup of tea, and you, Steve, better have that ready for me – cream and three sugars._

_Peggy_

_P.S. I will not accept Starbucks._

: : :

True to her word, Peggy arrives back at Avengers Tower on Sunday. She made her entrance with a bang, considering that she arrived there at 3:00 AM.

Pressing the intercom button, she smirked as her voice flowed in a singsong fashion through the tower.

"_Rise and shine, Avengers! I'm back, I have a surprise, and I would very much like that tea now, Steve._"

: : :

The Avengers walk into the kitchen to see a Peggy and a very battered – but still alive and sane – Natasha sitting at the table, eating cookies, of all things.

They're all sputtering and trying to form coherent words and Clint looks like he's about to cry and Natasha smiles wearily and Peggy just smirks.

"Captain Rogers, I'd like that tea, now."

: : :

As she sips it, she decides that Steve's tea is better than that of any famous coffee shop. The best in the world.

And it doesn't need to be said that she's won all of their admiration and respect and for the first time, she feels like she can be Agent Carter and Peggy all at once and still just be _her_.

: : :

On the seventh of December, he gets down on one knee with a diamond ring.

She says yes.

: : :

Here's the deal:

This is a song of two lonely people. They found each other and were able to reach that storybook, fairyfale ending. They were lonely people who found life again, in each other, amidst the chaos. And that's okay. To them, there's something comforting in the chaos. Chaos is what brought them together, and chaos is what keeps them together.

**So, I hope that it was tolerable!**

**Don't favorite without reviewing.**


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